Dan. Dan dan dan dan dan dan. DAN. According to the internet, you are a children’s book author, e-book writer, classroom visitor, and based on the insane photos you’ve chosen to post of yourself, a big fan of forced goofiness.
My five year old’s grandmother lovingly bought him some of your My Weird School series, specifically Mrs. Dole Is Out of Control. She lovingly read him the first six chapters. I was up in his room helping him get dressed for the day when he asked me to read him the next chapter.
One page in, I come across this gem: